


Kung Fu and Milkshakes

by ellebeedarling



Series: After All This Time [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Dates, Dorks in Love, Fluff, M/M, Silly, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 10:47:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9720221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ellebeedarling/pseuds/ellebeedarling
Summary: What do you buy for the man who wants nothing? Kaidan has a hard time finding a gift for Shepard on their first Valentine's Day.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ultra silly little date fic! Enjoy!

13FEB2183

 

John Shepard was a hard man to buy for. He had almost zero personal possessions – a few changes of clothes, a couple hardback books, his pistol that was _not_ standard Alliance issue and named Lady Trieu after a Vietnamese girl turned warrior whom he'd read about in some book on Vietnamese history and that Kaidan had been more than a little surprised to find out Shepard didn't actually sleep with. He was eccentric – in a good way – and though the rest of the galaxy saw him as nothing more than a soldier – an ideal – to Kaidan, he was rapidly becoming the sun, moon, and stars.

 

He wasn't sure that he should call Shepard his boyfriend, though it had been a few weeks since they'd spent the night together on Noveria, and they'd been sleeping together pretty regularly since then. The subject of naming their new relationship status had yet to be broached, though he felt pretty confident about the bond they shared. They'd been through too much together for it not to be enduring.

 

Tomorrow was Valentine's Day. Kaidan had realized it as he'd typed out a letter to his mom just before the Normandy docked with the Citadel. He hadn't given the holiday much thought since he was in elementary school, and the class had made those tacky, construction paper covered shoe boxes to fill with candy and cheap cards with cheesy sayings like “You make my heart blast off,” written on a rocket shape. The pink and red hearts and doofy cards, Kaidan could do without, but at least there'd always been candy. He figured Shepard had never had even that.

 

Somehow, Valentine's Day mania had hit the aliens on the Citadel – for all their blustering, turians were incredibly fond of human holidays – and Kaidan stood in an asari run gift shop feeling a little dizzy as he gazed at all the flowers, balloons that screamed I love you, and heart-shaped boxes of candy. Shepard would probably laugh his ass off if he came to the ship with any of this stuff. Besides, he didn't want any cheap, sentimental crap. He wanted something meaningful, to show the man how much he meant to him. But what did one give the man who didn't want anything?

 

John was off doing his usual thing – running himself ragged trying to run errands and do favors for every Joe Blow on the street who stopped to ask for his help. This time he was dragging Tali and Garrus along with him. That gave Kaidan some time to try to figure out the perfect gift. He'd already ruled out several things. Booze, for example. Shepard was partial to scotch but 'here, get drunk' wasn't the message Kaidan wanted to send. Mods for his pistol were out. He was too finicky about that damned gun, sorry... Lady Trieu – he got mad if it wasn't referred to properly. He could go with a book. Shepard liked poetry to a degree, but he preferred things like history and Greek mythology and ancient literature, not exactly romantic subjects. Jewelry was just... no.

 

The gift shop had been his last hope for the afternoon. His feet felt like he'd walked the entire surface of the Citadel six times, and he was no closer to finding a suitable present for Shepard. Thankfully, they weren't shipping out till tomorrow evening. Maybe that would give him some more time to think.

 

**

 

14FEB2183

 

John took Kaidan with him to run errands in the morning – just the two of them – which was strange, but he was so worried about trying to find a gift that he didn't give it much thought. Being dragged along with Shepard meant that he would be hard pressed to make time for shopping now.

 

They started at Chora's Den – of all the places – because the asari Consort had asked him for a favor. When they returned to the Consort an hour later, Kaidan watched in mixed horror and amusement as the asari offered to repay John's kindness in sexual favors. Shepard's face and ears were glowing as he stammered out a rejection, fumbling over his words, and backing slowly toward the door. Eventually, he slung an arm around Kaidan's shoulders, informed the consort that he was his boyfriend, then turned tail and scurried out the door.

 

“What the fuck,” he muttered, dragging Kaidan along behind him as he nearly ran out of the building.

 

Once outside, Kaidan burst out laughing, doubling over, and having to stop so that he could catch his breath. John scowled at him, which only served to fuel Kaidan's laughter. Finally, Shepard crossed his arms over his chest and cocked one eyebrow at him, waiting for the laughter to subside. “What the hell was that?” Kaidan asked, swiping the tears from his eyes.

 

“What was what?”

 

“You! You practically ran out of there screaming like a little girl!”

 

“I did not!”

 

“You were scared to death!”

 

“I was not!” Shepard frowned at him, then turned to walk away, causing Kaidan to run to catch up.

 

He grabbed John by the arm, spinning him to face him, and Kaidan knew he wasn't doing much to mask his amusement. His smile softened as the laughter died down, “And you called me your boyfriend.”

 

Shepard stiffened, face flushing red again. “Well... you are... right?”  
  


“I am.” Kaidan thought it was ridiculously adorable how this fierce, powerful man could be so awkward and bumbling when it came to relationships and matters of the heart. Informing him of the fact earned him a stiff punch in the arm that was bound to leave a bruise.

 

“Maybe I should have brought Ash and Liara with me today,” John grumbled, turning to walk away again.

 

Kaidan jogged to catch up again, “Well, I did have something I wanted to do today.”

 

John stopped again, face falling in what Kaidan would swear was disappointment. “Oh.”

 

“I mean... It's just-”

 

“No, it's fine. You can go. I can finish what I have to do on my own. I... guess I'll see you back at the ship later.”

 

Watching him go, Kaidan felt his heart sinking. The truth was he was still no closer to having any idea about what to buy the man for Valentine's Day. Maybe in the end what was more important was just showing him how he felt, rather than any material purchase he could make. He ran to catch up with Shepard again.

 

“Thought you had stuff to do,” John said almost accusingly.

 

“Decided I'd rather spend the day with you. My errands can wait.”

 

“I could... go with you, if you like.”

 

“Nah... it's really not that important. So... where are we headed next?”

 

“Well... it's Valentine's Day,” Shepard said, rubbing the back of his neck slowly, “I kinda just wanted to spend some time with you.”

 

“So, running errands was just a ruse to get me alone?”

 

“Sort of,” he admitted sheepishly. “I mean, I did have to do that thing for the consort, but if I'd had any idea that would happen, I'd have told her to kiss my ass and let it go.”

 

Kaidan chuckled again. “You're really cute when you're embarrassed.”

 

“Shut up!” Shepard gave him a shove. “Anyway, there's a theater near here playing a Drunken Master double feature. Supposed to be very romantic.” The grin on his face had Kaidan's heart tripping over itself, and he shook his head with a smile.

 

“Actually, old kung fu movies sound just about perfect!”

 

**

 

John's head rested on his chest – hearts still beating a little wildly, skin still a little bit damp. His fingers fiddled with the patch of hair on his chest, and Kaidan grinned. Shepard never could keep his fingers out of his hair. He let out a sleepy yawn, and John mirrored it before burrowing even closer to him.

 

“Sorry I didn't get you anything for Valentine's Day,” Kaidan muttered.

 

“I didn't get you anything either,” John said. “Besides, all I wanted was to spend some time with you, and I got that. Today was fun. Wish we had more time for days like this.”

 

“Me, too. And, you're right. No gift could have compared to the memories we made today.”

 

“You mean like when you knocked my milkshake into my lap and spilled it all over me?”

 

Kaidan laughed out loud. “At least it was strawberry and not vanilla.”

 

Shepard snorted. “That didn't make it any less embarrassing to walk back to the ship with that all over my crotch! Besides, it was a waste of a perfectly good strawberry milkshake. They're my favorite you know.”

 

“I'll buy you another one next time we dock,” Kaidan told him, kissing him on the forehead. “Speaking of embarrassing, where did you learn to dance? Man, you weren't kidding when you said you were bad at it!”

 

He gave a sharp tug to a plug of hair on Kaidan's chest, earning him a yelp of pain. “I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen.”

 

“I'll never doubt you again.”

 

“And anyway, maybe you should look in a mirror before you call someone else a bad dancer.”

 

“Hey,” Kaidan was indignant, “I dance just fine!”

 

“No, Kaid, you really don't. Sorry.” Shepard laughed, leaning up to press his lips to Kaidan's. “What was that thing you did? Shake your ass, clap your hands, point your finger. Yeah... man, wish I had moves like that!”

 

“Now you're just being an ass!”

 

“Am I?”

 

Kaidan rolled them over so that he was sprawled out on top of the man. Blue eyes full of laughter and mischief gazed up at him. “It's a good thing I like you so much.”

 

“It definitely is,” Shepard agreed, drawing him down for a soft kiss. Happy Valentine's Day, Kaidan.”

 

“Happy Valentine's Day, John.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> John's pistol is named for the "Vietnamese Joan of Arc," Lady Trieu (pronounced tee-you.) He is such a nerd! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Much love,  
> Elle


End file.
